The blog of Richard Thompson, caricaturist, creator of "Cul de Sac," and winner of the 2011 Reuben Award for Outstanding Cartoonist of the Year.

Monday, November 26, 2007

A Thanksgiving Memory, Belatedly

Fifteen years ago last week, my wife, Amy, and I were about to celebrate our first Thanksgiving as a married couple. We were going to serve a large feast on our new plates on our new table in our newly rented home for as many of our extended family as could make it. The night before Thanksgiving we went to a bar with friends and we had a most festive and enjoyable time, I personally enjoying it more than anyone else. When we got home, in hopes of coninuing my festively enjoyable time, I started dancing around like Fred Astaire would if Fred Astaire danced in his socks.

Our house was old and strangely shaped and it was heated by radiators, big iron monsters, all coils and ribs and flanges. The kind of fixture that would give sensitive children nightmares. I, as Fred Astaire would not, executed a kick that planted my foot squarely into the radiator in the hall, good and hard.

Amy, seeing me suddenly rolling around on the floor, thought I was still enjoying myself, until I pulled my sock off. One toe was bent completely back, and since it was the middle one, it looked like my foot was giving me the toe, if you know what I mean. It was indescrabably funny, in a silent-film-comedy-trauma way. And it hurt like "the dickens". The dickens is when the entire output of Charles Dickens-all 15 hardbound novels, plus journalism, letters and ephemera-is simultaneously dropped from a height and hits you.

The folks at the emergency room were extremely helpful and didn't laugh and didn't yell at me when I did some doughnuts with the wheelchair and knocked over the IV stand. But the nurse on duty did tell me an awful story about when he was in the Navy and won a $300 bet that he couldn't pull all the hairs off the top of his foot with tweezers without screaming. And they gave me some Tylenol 3, the kind with codeine, the kind that comes with the warning that not everybody reacts well to codeine.

So that is how I ended uup at the head of our table the next day, Thanksgiving Day, with my mangled foot elevated on another chair, presiding over our first Thanksgiving feast. And that is when, not ten minutes into the meal, I fould out I was one of the people who react badly to codeine. And it was Amy who quickly handed me a bowl, the fancy one that matched our new plates and was fortunately empty, for me to react badly in.

It's been 15 years. The toe's still there, of course, though it's still bent a little funny. The house is gone, or at least so renovated it's unrecognizable, and good riddance; it was an astestos-clad eyesore and a menace.

Somehow, subsequent family holidays have never quite matched that First Thanksgiving for intensitiy of emotion, not the Christmas of the Flaming Oven Mitt, or the Other Thanksgiving When the Fireplace Blew Up, or that Day or Two Before Easter When We Had to Evacuate Because of a Carbon Monoxide Leak That Almost Killed Everybody.

The only downside is that, ever since I broke my toe that night, I've been forced to draw with my hands.


Jim Borgman said...

And that's why, children, you should always wear shoes when you dance drunk.

Kid Shay said...

A fine piece of blogging, that.

I hope you don't follow Scott Adams' lead and stop posting because it doesn't bring a sound return on your investment.

Ponto said...

I really feel for you just now, though my empathy is somewhat modified by jealousy - I didn't get no Tylenol 3 for my Thansgiving broken foot.

richardcthompson said...

Well, you can see how much fun I had taking it. I may even have some left. Want it?

Mike said...

But you can't beat those radiators for REAL heat.

Ponto said...

15 year old drugs?! Oh, yes please!

here today, gone tomorrow said...

I'm also one of those Who React Badly To Codeine. Just another cruel joke on the part of the universe. You finally - legally - get some great drugs, but turn out to be "sensitive" to them. Great post, BTW.

richardcthompson said...

Thanks. I wrote it for the Post Magazine 5 years ago when, as a joke, I traded places with Gene Weingarten (he did a funny & disgusting drawing). I just edited out the first five paragraphs and changed the year. And viola, a holiday classic that'd make a sensitive & moving TV special.

Yeah, for the brief period my system tolerated the codeine, I liked it just fine.

richardcthompson said...

And hey, Kid Shay, I'm going to turn this whole blog into a really thick, dull autobiography and sell it at Costco for $9.95. I'll make a mint.